Creative Solutions Counseling

A better way to praise our children

Wayne Haines has written a new blog.  You can read it here!

Hi Ho Hi Ho It's Off To Work We Go...

Wayne Haines has written a new post about working with our children.  Read it here!

Press Pause on the Praise

Wayne Haines has posted a new blog and you can read it here!

What role do your children play?

Here is Wayne Haines' latest post on parenting.  You can read it here.  

It's Ok for Children to Say No

Wayne Haines has written a blog on the topic of encouraging chidren to say "no".  To read more click here.

How to Encourage Autonomy in Children

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the importance of teaching our children to be autonomous.

Let me relate it to you like this and then I will share with you six steps to teaching children how to be autonomous.

Wayne Haines has written a new blog; you can click here to read it in it's entirety.

Two Questions:

Here is a link to Wayne's latest post regarding the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

http://www.waynehaines.com/2012/12/two-questions.html

How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk (part 1)

I have recently started reading a book entitled, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, written by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.  In essence the book is about honing the skills of reflective listening and building a relationship with children so that they feel heard, valued, and emotionally safe.

Over the next weeks I will walk you through the major points of this book in hopes of enlightening you different tools to use in communicating to your children.

One of the features of this book that I really appreciate is that it is written as an interactive book that includes worksheets for the reader to answer questions and fill in blanks to better learn and understand the material.

The other aspect of the book that I really appreciate is that book is written to empower both the parents as well as the child.  In my opinion so many parents parent out of a perceived lack of power/control and this usually leads to parents using guilt, shame, and fear to motivate their children into compliance.  The effectually leaves the child powerless and afraid.

To recap the three core values of Creative Solutions Counseling; people are seeking to feel heard, valued and emotionally safe.  This includes children; and in my experience in working with children; when children feel unsafe they typically act out in some way.  

The core of the book occurs in the first seven chapters.  Here are the titles of these chapters.

Chapter 1: Helping Children Deal with Their Feelings

Chapter 2: Engaging Cooperation

Chapter 3: Alternatives to Punishment

Chapter 4: Encouraging Autonomy

Chapter 5: Praise

Chapter 6: Freeing Children from Playing Roles

Chapter 7: Putting It All Together

I am very excited to share these points and others with you.  Please continue to read these posts as well as others from Creative Solutions Counseling, Rachel Kool, and Joe Martino.

The Power of Virtue

Here is an idea that has been in my head and on my heart as of late.  I have had thoughts regarding acts of virtue and the power that hold.  Virtueous acts can be very self-empowering.  Yes indeed virtuous acts are powerful acts that are beneficial to others; however we seldom view the therapuetic effects of virtue on ones self.

What I'm driving at is that for those that struggle with anxiety/depression or low self-worth; possibly acts of virtue could be very helpful in treating these issues.  

Here is the definistion of virtue:

vir·tue

  [vur-choo]  Show IPA

noun

1.

moral excellence; goodness; righteousness.

2.

conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethicalprinciples; uprightness; rectitude.

3.

chastity; virginity: to lose one's virtue.

4.

a particular moral excellence. Compare cardinal virtues, natural virtue, theological virtue.

5.

a good or admirable quality or property: the virtue of knowingone's weaknesses.

In looking at all 5 of the definitions of virtue it is easy to understand how virtous acts can be very therapuetic.  In many cases these acts take the focus off of the depressed state and focuses it on something larger than ourselves.  Acts of virtue help to stop the negative self talk that often occurs in those that struggle with common depression or self-worth.  

Give some thought to these points and in this season of virtue try focusing on others and living larger than yourself.  You may be surprised!

Sleep Can Effect Children's Behavior

Here is an article that I found to be very interesting although not very surprising.  Maybe I like it because it supports my opinions on children's sleeping habits.  

http://news.yahoo.com/extra-shut-eye-may-improve-kids-conduct-study-002337821.html